Haven't logged on here enough to give my followers a daily dose of me so this post might sum up my life in the last year .
Feels like I've been through hell & back with this man , my friend, my enemy. I don't even know what to refer to him as at this moment. So many things have transpired between us, im not sure what is to become of "us" . I still love him with everything I have, but with that being said , if me loving him so hard is pushing him away, I guess I have to let him go & let him do what he loves ... right ? Isn't love supposed to allow me some type of peace of mind? Serenity ? Am I supposed to give up this love that I've been fighting for? All the work that I've done with this man so that someone else can reap the benefits ? I mean, I guess if it isn't me with whom he wants to be, then I can't keep him anyway. ughhhhh
Let me start over, this just seems like a bunch of mumble jumbo... so the father of my unborn son & I are no longer together. =(
It sucks, but life does go on. We do not even speak to each other on a regular basis. What type of ish is that ? I feel as though the most important thing a man can do for the mother of his child is love & or respect her, and I don't feel as if that man does either of those things . Shitty situation but such is life. What does one person do though, when they are in a situation like my own? Give up, and just let be what will be? Or fight for what I think is mine? I'm truly conflicted & it hurts my head to think about this on a daily basis. hmm, I don't know, but what I do know, is that I need to find myself a good church so I can go to God & pray about it.
2 comments:
my good friend is going through this right now. it's such a fucked up situation. ima pray for you both :)
This is the time where u put all your trust, energy, fustrations, worries, and focus in God! You can not force a man to do want he does not WANT or is not WILLING to do .. Don't let his decision to leave you shift or break your self esteem. You are going to be you no matter what! Don't fight for what does not want to be fought for! You are worth so much more .. & if he is not willing to be your knight and shining armor .. Someone else will !!
I'll pray for you !
@LyrikMarie !
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